His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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