i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
It's just like the Real World with babies
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
