My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
