Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
