I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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