please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
