i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
