You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
