I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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