Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
