He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i drank out of a bidet.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
