So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize