I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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