you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
