I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
