I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
