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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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