I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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