like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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