I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
