she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
