Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
