I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize