My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
