I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
