Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
