4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
