the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
