First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
