I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
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If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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