yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
