his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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