2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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