What did we do last night that was yellow?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
