Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
