i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
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How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
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no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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