What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
