Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself

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  (517): If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself http://tfl.nu/s6n2
  Replies (11) Good night (658) Bad night (3642)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?

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  (416): We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard? http://tfl.nu/skft
  Replies (12) Good night (5912) Bad night (936)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though

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  (662): It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though http://tfl.nu/50vd
  Replies (15) Good night (4572) Bad night (1122)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us

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  (405): Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us http://tfl.nu/zowi
  Replies (4) Good night (4473) Bad night (1033)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed

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  (902): There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed http://tfl.nu/rsjn
  Replies (8) Good night (2444) Bad night (1335)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!

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  (416): WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?! http://tfl.nu/lb62
  Replies (12) Good night (1031) Bad night (2161)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.

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  (504): Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch. http://tfl.nu/bzb1
  Replies (5) Good night (1494) Bad night (528)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.

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  (860): Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers. http://tfl.nu/ep00
  Replies (7) Good night (456) Bad night (1017)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.

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  (706): Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed. http://tfl.nu/1l89
  Replies (5) Good night (1162) Bad night (382)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue

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  (610): I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue http://tfl.nu/1cyh
  Replies (9) Good night (580) Bad night (1222)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.

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  (775): Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity. http://tfl.nu/mwyr
  Replies (6) Good night (554) Bad night (289)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?

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  (541): Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde? http://tfl.nu/3wcs
  Replies (5) Good night (440) Bad night (355)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it

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  (601): I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it http://tfl.nu/z5ku
  Replies (0) Good night (263) Bad night (391)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.

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  (516): I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging. http://tfl.nu/pl2n
  Replies (7) Good night (1175) Bad night (331)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal

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  (617): This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal http://tfl.nu/045y
  Replies (1) Good night (801) Bad night (295)

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