they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.