my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
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I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
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Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.