He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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