you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
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were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.