Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him http://tfl.nu/k8ud
  Replies (25) Good night (1573) Bad night (6470)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO. http://tfl.nu/9byh
  Replies (28) Good night (4218) Bad night (893)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting http://tfl.nu/9m8j
  Replies (5) Good night (3907) Bad night (1009)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision http://tfl.nu/1pgb
  Replies (21) Good night (4632) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom. http://tfl.nu/7x02
  Replies (9) Good night (3042) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane http://tfl.nu/5abz
  Replies (18) Good night (1455) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself. http://tfl.nu/4nxp
  Replies (10) Good night (2030) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails. http://tfl.nu/klfg
  Replies (15) Good night (1880) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles http://tfl.nu/5ilu
  Replies (12) Good night (911) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me http://tfl.nu/p784
  Replies (14) Good night (1527) Bad night (302)
• Favorite

  (61): View more from Australia

  Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (61): Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair http://tfl.nu/j3o5
  Replies (6) Good night (447) Bad night (273)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Let's get weird.

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  It's 10 am...

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm assuming that means you're not busy...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Let's get weird. (608): It's 10 am... (920): I'm assuming that means you're not busy... http://tfl.nu/aihn
  Replies (3) Good night (1394) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  You can't just leave with hair like that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): You can't just leave with hair like that http://tfl.nu/83ql
  Replies (2) Good night (423) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle. http://tfl.nu/n2vr
  Replies (1) Good night (609) Bad night (197)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I want your cock.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): I want your cock. (910): All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd http://tfl.nu/l1ri
  Replies (11) Good night (795) Bad night (340)

Randomize