Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
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She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.