Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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