Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.