Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
