Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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