Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
