please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall