I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
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just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
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she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher