Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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