i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
