shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
