a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
