what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
