did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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