I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
