he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize