just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
