Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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