arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
