i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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